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What Is Your Love Language?

I recently finished a book called, "The Five Love Languages For Singles" by Gary Chapman. 

In it he describes the five love languages that people speak in order to better express and receive love. He outlines them as follows:

1) Words of Affirmation - demonstrated through verbal appreciation and encouragement.

2) Quality Time - doing quality activities that the other person enjoys while keeping a positive attitude in the process. It's focused time on the other person not on the activity but always on what they like to do.

3) Receiving Gifts - giving visual symbols of love including the gift of yourself.

4) Acts of Service - doing simple chores for the other person out of love and not obligation.

5) Physical Touch - learning the touches that make the other person feel secure (in a non-sexual way).

After reading this book and journaling each chapter carefully, I discovered my own love language(s) -- actually my primary language which makes total sense to me and explains why many of my relationships never had a chance.  I heard that chuckle! But seriously, failed relationships can often be attributed to the lack of speaking another's love language. My primary love language is quality time but I respond quickly to all five languages so, relationship with me is well, hassle-free.

I applied the same principles to my 13 yr old son. Knowing his love language is quality time, he absolutely loves when I play his favorite board games with him, take him to his favorite pizza place, and observe as he engages in his favorite video game.  My only responsibility is to give him the time and enjoy being with him.

When I think of love languages though, I'm convinced that God is really only concerned with one - the demonstration of unconditional love.  Are we speaking this everyday to our family and friends -- what about our co-worker or neighbor next door?  Do we make an intentional effort to regard others as better than ourselves and when push comes to shove, can we relinquish all self-control for the better good and promotion of others?

As an example, love in God's economy can perhaps be measured in one way when we are faced with an uncomfortable or opposing situation that offers no hope of resolution, yet we make the choice to deposit love in the midst of it anyway.

Be encouraged that God's precious Spirit lives within Believers to make the task so much easier when we make the choice to speak His language.

GBY!  Barbara :) 


- This biog is an extension of HOPE Ministry and "The Secret Place" -- if it has sown a blessing into your life please consider sowing back into the ministry at the website link below:

www.hope2007.org

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Comment balloon 20 commentsBARBARA RIES • October 24 2008 04:07PM

Comments

Featured @ Club Chaos

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 8 years ago

Gosh Carol, thank you! I did get your vm and I will call you soon -- perhaps even later. GBU dear one.  Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Realtors and Friends That Read do book reviews all of the time. You might want to join them. They would enjoy this. Nice to see you back at CC, sweetie. Enjoyed your post. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 8 years ago

Carol: Thanks and I surely will check them out. Tis the season be be jolly-er than ever. Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Barbara,

Said another way, the love language is acceptance - acceptance of one other the way we have been accepted by Him. :)

Steve

Posted by Steve Hoffacker, Certified Aging In Place Specialist-Instructor (Steve Hoffacker LLC) over 8 years ago

Steve, I like the way you think. Very well said. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 8 years ago

Amen Steve - I like that. GBU! Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Carol: I agree as well. I can apply Steve's wisdom for today and in days to come. Thanks for your comment. Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Amen!  Should be required reading before we get married.  But it's never too late!  And I agree, "well said Steve".

Posted by Terri Visser, CRS - 12 Years Selling Central Oregon Real Estate (Desert Sky Real Estate, LLC) over 8 years ago

Terri, now there's a thought (LOL). Very good point! :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 8 years ago

Barbara! Good to see you again. I have missed your posts ans so glad that you are back. I am going to give some more thought to the subject of this post. I have been married for 33 years and it's good to always be working on it. I give all the credit to God for the success of my marriage! Thanks sister. ;-)

Posted by Sharon Young (Ivy League Mortgage Philadelphia, Pa) over 8 years ago

Hi Terri: Thanks for your comment and I agree. I've added this to my "to do's" in all of my relationships. GBU! Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Carol: So very true!  Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Hi Sharon: Thank you!!... and I'm glad to read your comments. I love to hear these stories and wish you 33 more years of heavenly bliss! It is only through His Spirit that we can live a life pleasing to Him. How awesome that your mind is set in Christ to continually grow with your husband. Great testimony and thanks again! GBU. Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

I read this book (not the singles version) quite a while ago... it's part of a series of books that can be read again and again.

Posted by Chuck Willman UtahHomes.me, UtahHomes.me (www.UtahHomes.me) over 8 years ago

Hi Chuck: I agree.  I'm reading the one pertaining to teenagrs now and it's enlightening and informative. Thanks for your post. Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

I'm not sure how I missed this.  Thank you for sharing this and posting it to the Realtors and Friends that Read group.  I have featured it in our group and I intend to get the book.  Thanks! 

Featured!

Realtors and Friends that REad

Posted by Susan Mangigian, Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches (RE/MAX Preferred, West Chester, PA, RS152252A) over 8 years ago

Hi Susan: Thank you for the feature. This is a great book.  I've learned how to fill the emotional love tank of people in my life. In fact, a companion book called, "The Five Love Languages For Teenagers" is really helping me with my 13 year old.  I can understand more about his need for independence now and how to meet his emotional needs in ways which he is receptive to.  Both are very good reads. Thanks again Susan. God bless you!  Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

Mine is definitely Acts of Service without a doubt. I thrive on serving others and I feel alive when I do. I feel very blessed to be able to serve in the real estate industry this season of my life.

Posted by Loreena and Michael Yeo, Real Estate Agents (3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Frisco TX Real Estate Co.) over 8 years ago

Hi Loreena: Thank you for sharing with the group. "Acts of Service" is absolutely one of mine too.  When my son does things around the house to help me out or a friend offers to help with a household repair, I am really, really thankful. GBU! Barbara :)

Posted by BARBARA RIES, Your Cool Agent in the Coolest Small Town, Lititz! (Berkshire Hathaway Homeservices Homesale Realty) over 8 years ago

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