Today as I was type, type, typing away, I heard an episode of Rosanne on the TV in the background. I do not watch television often but as the station was about to change I caught the end of an episode that made me think.
She and her sister (I forget her name right now) were talking about their dysfunctional life. Rosanne said, "that's probably why you were never married and why I'm so fat!" Her sister in reply said, "No, it's because I never found the right guy and you never found the wrong donut!"
I can relate to that - not to the donut part but certainly to the relationship one. I grew up in a dysfunctional family myself and made crazy and hasty decisions based solely on my view of love. Having been in and out of abusive relationships, I equated love with pain. To me, love meant "that which was something to cause pain" -- to hurt; either physically, mentally or emotionally. I know sad, but very true.
How many of us grew up in families that weren't exactly embraced by a white picket fence or with mom baking chocolate chip cookies early on a Saturday morning? Lassie wasn't there, a hug and an "I love you" weren't the last words we heard at night and tough love meant dad's leather belt when we thought we were just being kids.
I remember the tender song we sang as children; "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so..." I heard God was love, I sang that God was love; I even read in my Bible that He was love. My conflict was that if this were true then why couldn't I really believe it? The reason was that my mind and my soul [emotions, feelings] taught me differently.
Thinking that love was supposed to hurt, I believed that people who love you DO hit you, they DO yell and scream at you and they always belittle you. Something was very, very wrong here. At the age of 44 I decided to get the answers. (My Testimony) When I finally did, I learned that the pain of my past had to go and the light of God's love had to become the replacement part in my life.
I sought intense treatment - 2 years to be exact, for the purpose of getting emotionally well. The lessons I learned saved my life but most importantly it was because God intervened. He did so with His divine medicine to treat my wounded soul and battered and bruised life. The name of the medicine was LOVE; His Love -- and I'm happy to report it's still on the market today.
I learned that God is love, that He cares for me and considers me to be special and unique. "He loves me!!" I said -- "He loves me!!" I believed this with my entire being and that is when things changed in my life. I went from a voiceless victim to victorious living with the help of His Holy Spirit; I was free - free at last!
Too often people never grasp the fullness of the Father's love for us. They breeze through life making the same bad decisions, choosing the same wrong relationships and getting into the same trouble. But it can stop and you can take the steps to make it happen today.
God gave His only Son, Jesus Christ to pay the price for our sins when He died on the Cross. His atonement for our sins now enables us to have relationship with God and gives us the promise of eternal life with Him. If you close your eyes tonight and die in your sleep are you sure you are going to heaven? And if so, please tell me what makes you think He's going to let you in?
Unless you can say from your heart, "because Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior", then please don't let one more precious moment of your life pass by without knowing this for sure. For the love of God, find Him and let Him in to change you and to make you uniquely His. You can find the "steps to peace with God here" and when you do, please write or call me so we can rejoice together! God bless you.
GBY! Barbara :)
- This biog is an extension of HOPE Ministry and "The Secret Place" -- if it has sown a blessing into your life please consider sowing back into the ministry at the website link below: